Thursday, May 29, 2008

School Mode.

Hello Thursday night. I'm bummed that there are no more new episodes of The Office anymore. The season finale was so good , though. I rarely watch TV, but you guys know I love my Office.

I'm in school mode right now so most of my posts will be centered around thoughts pertaining to my various school mentalities and reflections, whether it be teaching school or grad school. It's always school, school, school, huh?? I have exactly one week to get a ton of stuff done to wrap up this year. I know I'm farther ahead than I was last year at this time, although, no matter how hard I try to keep up, it just seems increasingly more difficult. I worked so hard this weekend. Grading stuff, averaging grades, filling out report cards, and preparing for my grad class. I'm sorry if it just seems like I complain. I wouldn't categorize much of it as complaining. It's a continuing analysis of how my life is operating. Why does it seem that others are able to have a life? Do I expect too much of myself? (I've had many people tell me this is the case) I want to work hard and do my best. I feel like this job is so completely draining that it's almost impossible to stay on top of everything and maintain any type of sanity. I guess I feel a little better when I see people with much more experience than me expressing the same types of thoughts and emotions, also.

I know I can do this. I have done this. In one week, I can say that I've successfully completed two years of teaching in my own classroom. That's some cool stuff. I've worked hard and I'm looking forward to gaining more experience and expanding my teaching abilities. I want to be that teacher. The one that you remember for all the good things. How she treated you. How she made you feel. Knowing that she valued you as a person and worked as best as she could to share her depth of knowledge with a sense of caring that dominates the atmosphere of the classroom. Yeah ... I want that to be me.

Teaching is leaving a vestige of one self in the development of another. And surely the student is a bank where you can deposit your most precious treasures. ~Eugene P. Bertin

Who dares to teach must never cease to learn. ~John Cotton Dana

A teacher who is attempting to teach without inspiring the pupil with a desire to learn is hammering on cold iron. ~Horace Mann

Monday, May 26, 2008

Summer is almost here.

The weather is slowly getting nicer. Emphasis on the "slowly". It's coming along, though.
Eight more days of school. This year has literally flown by. It truly boggles my mind to know that I've completed two full years in my own classroom. Good job me! It's been so tough, but I knew I could do it. This year has it's own unique set of challenges. I'm tired out. My heart's desire is to do right by the students. I want to know that I've made a difference, that they've benefitted from being under my instruction for the last nine months. It's difficult when the results are not necessarily tangible. I just have to believe.

This graduate school stuff has also become a burden that is wearing me down. I keep telling myself that it will be worth it but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't doubt this some times. How will it be worth it? A little extra money? Yes, that's a good thing, though I feel like I've sacrificed so much of myself that I don't know if that will make up for it. I wonder why I can't ever seem to catch up. The work is never-ending. If it's not 3rd grade work it's grad school work. Non-stop.

I'll graduate next August. That sounds so incredibly far away. I really want to complain about that and it takes everything in me to step back and evaluate that statement with a heart of understanding and gratitude. Ugh.. but I will. I'm grateful that I have the mental capacity to not only attend Graduate school, but to excel. I'm grateful that I already have completed 5 classes.
I'm glad I'm getting this done as quickly as I can!

Well, Happy Memorial Day to all. I kicked but working hard this weekend. No fun for me. It does feel good to get stuff done, though. Let's see, Friday night I graded 20 Fairy Tales, Saturday morning I graded another 20. Saturday afternoon I read 3 Chapter for my Psych class and made up 15 questions, averaged grades for report cards, filled out report card comments, worked on a Powerpoint for a Wednesday presentation. Yeah! I worked hard!