Summer has slipped away ... and here we are, basically closing up September.
I went to Whitehouse Fruit Farm today. There is a big fall fest, apple orchard, craft extravaganza there every year. Someone put something on Facebook about it so I thought I'd check it out.
I ended up meeting my mom and aunt there after I was there for a little bit.
It was a beautiful day. Perfect fall weather.
But.. there were young families with young children everywhere! All over the place. With cameras in hand, they took pics of their kids posed next to pumpkins, corn stalks, etc.
There are days that I don't handle this kind of stuff well. I did ok today. I didn't cry, so I'll consider that doing "ok". But there was a point where I just thought "why did I come here? I don't really want to be here" Honestly, the feeling didn't last too long, but, still, it was there.
It's hard seeing families together, doing family stuff, etc.
That is a desire of my heart - at the moment- unfulfilled, and it kinda hurts to be around a ton of babies and cute looking families. Of course, I'm believing that God will do above and beyond all I could ask or think. He's so good.
Happy Saturday night..
Monday, September 6, 2010
Happy Labor Day!
Summer is basically over, although I do thoroughly enjoy the weather that comes in Sept-Oct.
I started back to teaching already last week. It's very hard to believe that I've starting my 5th year of teaching! Good times... good times.
I'm thinking about seasons today. ... As today is a day that signifies the changing of seasons for many of us. Of course, the 'seasons' that I'm reminded of today are those seasons of life that we find ourselves in throughout our lifetime.
As I sit here at Caribou today, I have my headphones in, as I usually do, but I can't help but overhear the conversation taking place at the table next to me. Two teenage girls, one boy, are lamenting about school starting tomorrow. I've been able to surmise that they are entering into their Jr year of HS. I don't know that I could actually label what they are saying as "conversation", actually. Every other word is "f- this, f-that" and they make fun of every person that walks by. They are also extremely sexually explicit in their convers- uh- speech. I feel thankful that I don't teach high school as I listen to this. I can also honestly say that I have not been in this 'season' that they appear to be in right now --That insecure, lashing out to the world, rebellion. The insecure part.. of course...but I find myself feeling a quickening of worship in my spirit that thanks God for guiding me and sparing me from learning life lessons the way that these kids will almost assuredly learn them. Ahh- high school- so glad that I'm well beyond that season.
College too. Since I hang out at a coffee shop, it's easy to find your average college student. More studious than the high schooler, but still afflicted with various amounts of drama, relational angst, etc. I worked hard in college. and I'm glad that I did. I learned that "learning the hard way" doesn't have to happen. Praise God. I don't have to 'learn the hard way' about anything. Sadly, there are people all around us that are busy doing just that -learning life lessons the "hard way". God has shown me that this is not necessary at all -especially in the area of relationships. I could take a little rabbit trail here, but I'll save that for another post!
OK - there are several other seasons that I could expound upon, but I kinda want to keep this short. Let's jump to right now - where God has me now. It's wild and I'm learning to love it. It's just so ripe with possibility. I love seeing Romans 8:28 alive and active in my life -
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
This actually starts with verse 26.. but, wow - that's it! That sums up this season - my life, really.
Everything is worked into something good- because that's His nature. Goodness!! I'm enjoying the journey, although it can be, and oftentimes is, very trying. More on that in a later post, but, with Holy Spirit, how could I not enjoy the journey? The kingdom of heaven being established here - that's what I'm a part of- and it's a fun, hilarious adventure. Just getting started.
What season are you in??
Saturday, August 21, 2010
"Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-and-outers. Speak out for justice! Stand up for the poor and destitute!" Proverbs 31:8 Message
Today the city of Youngstown was invaded with the pure, 'no-strings attached' goodness of God! Goodness Invasion 2010 made its way to the Covelli Center. This event amazed me. I basically showed up for a day and worked hard for 5 hours.. but..what amazed me was the planning and dedication of the leadership of New Life. Pastor Juan, Amanda & Chris, Norm & Anita. Wow! They are just a few of the key people who carried out the vision. I feel so honored to be a part of this house.
The job I carried out today was fairly basic, I passed out boxes of Splenda and cans of peas.
It was great because I was at the very first table. I was one of the first people that the attendees came in contact with under the tent. They gathered bags, boxes, and whatever they could get (I saw several suitcases) and started down the "line".
Canned goods, pasta, drinks, and produce were just a few of the types of food items that we blessed the people with throughout the day. They couldn't even carry all that they were getting!
Let me go back....
When I pulled into the Covelli Center parking lot at around 7:55am, I became overwhelmed when I saw the line of people stretching as far as the eye could see. I felt the Spirit say 'this is the Kingdom'. I began to cry. It was a powerful and emotional moment as I had an encounter with the reality of God's heart.
Even though my feet and back hurt, I had a hard time even leaving my 'post' for even a few minutes. I didn't just throw food into their box. I looked into their eyes - greeted them, and even conversed for a few moments. God kissed these simple encounters.
It was a good day.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Ok- time for the obligatory birthday post!
Here I am - 28 years old today! Wild.
So hard to believe how quickly time is flying by. Today I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for the journey. The process. Thankful that God is so gracious and loving. Thankful that He works all things together for good.
I have some amazing friends. I had a late night conversation with one of those friends last night. Isn't it great when God brings people into your life that you can be totally transparent with? We sat outside of Chipotle until 2am. It's those moments and times that I can say I'm loving where I am "at" in life right now. Learning, loving, giving, growing (is that corny?..oh well..it's true!)
Even as a relative 'youngin', I can say that I've learned some things about birthdays (or any other new beginning, for that matter) I've seen the error in proclaiming and exclaiming lofty goals or resolutions. In my experience, it's most likely a recipe for disaster. Trust me, I've done it.. and it has sounded something like this in the past..
"ok..here I am..25 years old... gotta get myself together! Ok. First. Gotta lose 50 lbs. Yeah, 50, for sure. Gotta be at the gym at least once a day. Next, I gotta get in the Word everyday. Make that everyday for at least 20 min. Yeah, that sounds good.. and I gotta go on some dates or something this year! Com'on .. somethings gotta give"
I think I adequately portrayed where my thinking has so often gravitated towards in the past. And, honestly, I need to resist, even this very day, not slipping into that thinking.
How amazing is a relationship with Jesus!? I mean, wow, He changes all of that striving.
My focus is on today. Knowing God..today. Being with Him..today. Listening to Holy Spirit..today. It's so good and so much better than "trying to do better"!! haha. That never works :)
Well, going to dinner with some of those amazing friends tonight. I got some great cupcakes to bring too (pink lemonade, red velvet, triple chocolate, margarita, pumpkin, white raspberry, and butter rum!! wow!)
"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (PSA 40:31).
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Sunday night. A great time to reflect upon the coming week and the week that has past. I'm trying hard to document this summer. The Lord has shown me that this summer is important in more than one way. I really am stepping into the position of who I truly am in Christ. He has given me perspective, insight, and, most of all intimacy with himself. What an adventure!
Tonight I got to share a little bit about what happened at the Psychic Fair. God is so good! Pastor Juan, Deidre, Jill, and Michelle shared too. It was great. I'm just amazed that God wants to use me, you know? Even just standing up there with them, I'm thinking "wow, God, you're just whipping me up here, huh?" I shared a little bit about what God showed me throughout our day at the psychic fair. We are told in scripture to eagerly desire the gift of prophecy. I found my heart stirred like it has never before been as I witnessed the prophetic at work.
So, I just shared my heart. Basically, saying to everyone.. I'm new at this prophetic stuff. I took a risk by being there. It was an act of faith and trust. Be available. God wants to use you - you don't have to be an 'expert'. I'm certainly not, but I was able to speak life and encouragement into searching people's lives. Glory to God ;)
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I'm enjoying an evening home tonight. I'm home before 11pm for once! On these summer nights I can usually be found at the Bou! I'm trying to enjoy my apartment, you know. I lit some candles, just chillin on the couch.
We met for small group tonight and it was great. Today was actually the first night I have been able to make it since I've been busy with dance on Thursday nights up until this point.
Chris and Amanda spoke about faith and then we just released it! Some powerful scriptures in Hebrews about faith..
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
We wrote down some things that we are believing God for in the coming days, weeks, months, years..
I'm having faith for several things. One of my "biggies" is believing God for a marriage that will be a pure testimony of His goodness. My faith has been built up these past few weeks. I'm believing God for His timing to be perfect for us! I can't wait to give glory to God for what He does. It's going to be big.
A godly man.. and not just any godly man (cause they are out there) but the one that God would prepare and bring to me!
I'm believing and declaring that this will come to pass. As we sat outside on this beautiful night. Believers gathered together, edifying one another, I just sat there thinking about the testimony. My marriage will be a testimony! My heart is filled with faith. Thank you, Lord, for the faith-filled declarations made tonight! Let each one come to pass!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
It is hard to believe that June is almost over! Summer 2010 has gotten off to a great start and I'm expecting some amazing things to come.
I'm sitting at Caribou! Holy Spirit has invaded this atmosphere here and I just love observing it. God's people sprawled all over this place. A Bible study going on outside, a group from New Life just met here before a treasure hunt.
I'm still amazed and thankful for all that God has done these last few weeks. I find myself just in awe of what He's doing. My constant desire is that I would be 'good soil'.. ready to receive and grow!
I'm hoping to blog here more in the next few weeks, especially as I prepare to go to El Salvador. This is a nice supplement to a journal, where I can share with others, and have an online record and reminder of all that God is doing in my life and the lives of those around me.
Have a great week!!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I'm totally blown away and still attempting to process all that God has done this weekend.
The highlight being a local Psychic Fair that we held an outreach at this past Saturday.
People respond to love. It's amazing what a hug, an encouraging word, and a blessing can do for searching souls. I saw the prophetic actively at work. It was amazing and I'm desiring for God to use me like He's used those around me. Wow. People sat down and were willing to receive a prophetic word from God over their life. Awesome!
It was wild because the woman who was organizing this psychic event called for prayer first thing in the morning. She lead the prayer and asked Pastor Juan to close in prayer after her. Her prayer blew us all away. She asked that everyone be filled with the Holy Spirit. Hahaha! It was wild. Then she spent the day doing astrology readings at a booth. I'm still trying to process.
God showed up big. For each person we encountered, we asked for the Holy Spirit to show up before we even said anything. I did spend a lot of time just interceding and observing as others really moved in the prophetic. Tears of release and peace flowed from people's faces!
Then came the rain! A powerful moment with a sweet young lady and the Holy Spirit. Thunder was brewing and the heavens opened up as she declared freedom from past hurts and a cleansing for a new start in life. I'm blown away by how prophetic that moment was - rain suddenly beginning to pour down!
Another highlight - two of the "staff" members who were helping to organize the psychic fair ended up in church this morning and received salvation! Hallelujah!
And we prayed for one of the astrology readers too! She was awesome -Mimi- and she was totally decked out in her psychic garb (head wrap, long flowing skirt!) She was open and willing to hear what the living God has to say about her!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Here comes summer. Yes, the most wonderful time of the year. I try to savor these moments. The 'beginning of summer' moments. Four more days with my class. Then I'll have four years of teaching under my belt. Wow!
I'm watching the rain right now. Boy, is it raining. Listening to a band that I just discovered - Hammock - Awesome chill, mostly instrumental music - perfect for a rainy day.
I'm excited about summer. My trip to El Salvador is coming up. It's going to be amazing. Praying that God would use me however he wants. Excited just to get out of the USA, you know, out of these "comforts".
My mom and I will also be traveling to NYC this summer. A real vacation! We went a few years back and decided that it was time to return. Shopping, shows, and eating here we come!
God is teaching me about the finished work of the cross. I attended a conference at VCC about 2 weeks ago and got totally rocked. It was a great time of refreshing, worship, and impartation. Made some great kingdom connections. I want to start this summer in a season of rest and abiding with the Lord. Help me Holy Spirit.
Well, here's to summer 2010. Here we go!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Today was a good day. Nice weather, good day at school. For once in my life, I'm really not bogged down with so much "doing". It's wild. I'm done with my Master's degree. I've worked hard. I'm fairly established at my job after 4 years. It's a time of rest for me. But that is so hard! What a season. And I can't even say that I'm doing well at this. But that's ok. God is so good and patient and awesome.